The children of the corn in Iowa are soon going to be caucusing, which is to voting what Vanilla Ice's raps are to music. In a caucus you go to someone's house (or barn) or your town hall. You organize into groups based on your candidate, but if you are one of the idiots who supports a candidate less than 15% of caucus goers support, such Dennis "Spaceman" Cucinich, Alan Keyes, Chris Dodd, or Mike Gravel, you can transfer your support to another, normal candidate.
Here are my predictions for the Iowa Caucus Results.
For the Democrats
1st Place- Hillary "Preying-Mantis in a Pantsuit" Clinton.
2nd Place- John "Too Cool for a Tie" Edwards.
3rd Place- Barrack "Hope Man" Obama
4th Place- Bill "Not Important Enough for a Nickname" Richardson
5th Place- Joe "Only a Few Years Until the Nursing Home" Biden.
6th Place- Chris "Who?" Dodd.
7th Place- Dennis "Spaceman" Kucinich
Last Place- Mike "Nobody Cares What You Think" Gravel
For the Republicans
1st Place- Mitt "The Polygamist" Romney
2nd Place- Mike "Preach To Me" Huckabee
3rd Place- Ron "Dr. No Income Tax" Paul
4th Place- John "Integrity" McCain
5th Place- Rudy "Mr. 9/11" Guliani
6th Place- Fred "The Actor" Thompson
7th Place- Duncan "Great Wall of America" Hunter.
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